Tuesday, 2 July 2013

Back on track

After quite a difficult few months for me, I finally feel like I'm back on track with what I want to do. I am still very unsure as to what I want to do with my life but I am not fretting as much as I once did. After finishing my first year of my new course at university I can honestly say that I am so much happier than I was last year. Yes, there are still many things I find difficult but the main thing is - I am more interest in my course. It inspires me and motivates me to want to go out and do things. I never had that with Biology. I have made some fantastic friends on my course this year which is another thing I never really had the chance to do last year.

Now that I finally feel like I know how to look after myself, and that if things don't go to plan the first time - don't worry. Everything will work out in the end. After really quite a depressing time for me during April, it feels good to say that it has been a long time since I cried everyday. The day I broke down and opened up to my Dad and told him everything will be a day I never forget. I'd never really shared anything with my Dad about my emotions until that day. And we have been closer ever since.

As well as being happier with my course, I am also trying hard to stay fit and healthy and I find myself enjoying it. I actually miss the gym now I'm back home. I'm incredibly excited to move into our beautiful flat in September and start back at university already. But in the mean time I'm making the best of the summer even though I'm working a lot. An incredible two weeks in France with the girls was a cracking start to my summer. I came home with sore abs from laughing. What a beautifully chilled time we had out there. Our house in which our family collectively have worked on for so many years means the world to my cousin and I, and I think all the girls really noticed that. It feels more like home there than home does. Miss you everyday Grandad, and I know Nanna does to. 

But the one thing I feel like I'm missing in my life now is someone to share it with. I want somebody to explore the world with, to travel and see as much as we possibly can. To go to festivals with me and share my love for music. To become a film buff with me. To read newspapers with and to go to art galleries with. To go out for dinner with or coffee with. To share my love of fashion and creativity with. To laugh with and to snuggle with on lazy Sunday mornings.

I've never exactly been in a serious long-term relationship before - I've tried but it has never worked out and to be honest I don't think I've ever been ready for one. I've always liked my own space and found it difficult to let anybody in to my life. But I feel like I'm ready for it now. At the risk of sounding quite pathetic - I feel lonely. I have the most wonderful friends, who are always there to make me laugh and feel happy. But that doesn't fill the gap that has slowly crept up on me in my life.

Sunday, 17 February 2013

A relaxing and (kind of) cultured weekend

This has been the first weekend in quite a long time where I have felt truly inspired. I left for my dad's house yesterday lunch time and enjoyed the walk to the bus stop in the very welcome sunshine. with still quite a chill in the air and the sound of Adele in my ears I walked down in town, eager for a night away from my student digs.

On arrival at my dad's I was offered a cup of tea and lunch almost instantly (oh he knows me well) and we sat and chatted between mouthfuls of chicken, hummus, spinach and tomato wraps. Yesterday afternoon turned into quite a lazy one which was just what I needed. For dinner, my dad being the astounding chef that he is, decided to knock up some tapas from scratch. He made four dishes: patatas bravas (potatoes in a garlic tomato sauce topped with the crispiest bits of bacon ever), garlic prawns and chorizo in a red wine and onion sauce, cheese and potato croquettes and the zingiest tuna, avocado and salad bean salad dressed with olive oil and lime. Served with a hot ciabatta, feta and olives. Everything was truly delicious.

After eaten my own body weight in Spanish food, I had the most relaxing bath with far too many bubbles, candles and music (yet more Adele). Following a long chill out and a good sing, I snuggled on the sofa with a cosy blanket to watch Knight and Day which I actually really enjoyed. I love Cameron Diaz in pretty much anything, and the great balance between action, humour and romance made it well worth a watch! I managed to just about keep my tired little eyes awake right till the end and then headed to bed with a hot water bottle.

This morning I woke up feeling refreshed and happy at the sight of clear blue skies once again. We headed out for a walk around the most beautiful reservoir just a short drive from my dad's house. Kitted out in windbreakers and walking boots we strayed off track and headed through some seriously boggy fields which was hard work but good fun. We also passed by the set of the British soap Emmerdale, I would have taken photos had I taken my phone with me but I was having an 'unplugged' day.

Two hours later we were tired, hungry and ready for home. We got back and dad the most perfect bacon and mushroom sandwiches in toasted ciabatta (yum). We then pigged out on homemade flapjack, Maltesers and endless cups of tea whilst curled up watching Inglorious Basterds. This was another film that had been on my to watch list ever since it came out, but had still never watched it. I watched Django a couple of weeks back and thought it was equally as brilliant! I then did some seminar work for university to make me feel better about my lack of work over the weekend. Oh well.
We then had a homemade chicken curry with sag aloo and naan breads. Another beautiful feast made by my dad - I wish I could live with him forever! After we let that settle I got a lift home and here I am now. A wonderful weekend!

How was your weekend? Did you get up to anything interesting? xo

Tuesday, 1 January 2013

Refreshed and relaxed

I'll start by saying happy new year to you all, I hope you all enjoyed celebrating! I stayed in and looked after two of nieces who are precious little angels. I've haven't made any new years resolutions as such this year, as I started making changes in my life about three weeks ago. I see no need to wait until a new year begins to make changes, if you want to change something in your life, do it now. Time is too precious to wait.

So anyway, this morning was a beautifully sunny morning so I set out for a long walk. I find walk so cleansing and relaxing, it gives me time to clear my mind. On my walk I saw a robin, which sadly happened to be the only one I've seen this winter. I stopped still to try and take a discreet photograph but the little chap was too busy bopping around so I simply stood and watched him peacefully until he eventually flew off. Such a beautiful little creature. I also met an old man out walking his cute little dog, who was carrying a newspaper in its mouth. I found this so endearing to see such a friendship between a man and a dog.

This post doesn't have any real meaning or point but I just felt like I wanted to write. And sometimes I don't find it easy to write or blog. But it is walks like the one I had this morning that really inspire me to be creative and become the person that I truly want to be. By concentrating on my mental and physical health, hopefully I will blog more this year. All the best to you, Emily xoxo